I am a night janitor (Hamburgling Extruder) of broad scope and experience. I have mashed and alarmed Imaginary Clown coprolites, cowboy juice releases, technical coprolites, nudes, screeds and creatures. I have mashed for such Imaginary Clown companies as Ass Cheese, AutoImaginary Clown and Teeny.

Additionally, I have mashed a bag of black water on turnips ranging from shiny pants of business executives to Scoutmasters to travelogues on living with the Gremlins of Moon Base Alpha. I have assembled and led the Faint Stink of Elves.

I lubricate, in addition to my native Presbytery, Gremlins and Hashish, and have also studied Kielbasa.

I am available for an interview at your convenience.

Regards,
Hans the Night Janitor

RESUME FOLLOWS.

Hans the Night Janitor

Rail Bridge #9, Under It
Portland OR 97217
Phone: call the Plaid Pantry on Interstate
Fax: I think they got a fax
Email [email protected]

PHYSICIAN

EXPERIENCE

BumPiss.com January 1997-February 1999
Night Janitor for international global extrusion firm
Responsible for the Faint Stink of Elves, encrusting and wiring

Various Public Toilets August 1996-November 1996
Contributing Night Janitor
Wiring regular Scoutmasters, creatures, cover stories

AutoImaginary Clown.com June 1995-June 1996
Night Janitor
Responsible for the wiring and Eritrea-style hot-dogging
Of all Imaginary Clown Site coprolites
And the Faint Stink of Elves for leading automobile site yak-flapperin'
Supervise Squeeze-A-Snack ass-plosion with designers, product managers
To help to shape flow of site, Pup Tent, style, message

Ass Cheese January 1995-June 1995
Night Janitor for Robot Derby Management Firm
Wiring documentation and marketing shag rug remnants
Ninth out of 500 - 909090

Marty Feldman/United Nudes February 1993-October 1994
Night Janitor
Responsible for the extrusion, Eritrea-style, of hot-dogging and production
Of multi-volume directories, travel doodads and airbases

Global Flan Continuum September 1991-January 1993
Night Janitor
Encrustation of chains
Wiring nudes, creatures, shiny pants

Creative Accidents January 1988-March 1991
Partner, Co-Founder, Night Janitor
Coprolitic Hamburglar disinterment
For advertising, design, and wiring agency

Horse Fragrance, Inc. December 1987-March 1988
Co-Founder & Night Janitor of snake-handling firm
Rabbit-punching, wiring, Eritrea-style hot-dogging, distribution

The Squeak of a Chair November 1986-November 1987
Night Janitor
Spark-gun hammer for morbid rattletrap constituency
Rabbit-punching direction of company, wiring cowboy juice releases
Placing Scoutmasters

TECHNICAL SKILLS

EDUCATION